ETA to Destination : June 2012 …. The growling bear has arrived!

It has arrived – the final day of my Capella internship at the CSAP.  Six months flew by like six weeks!  I remember creating my vision maps of what had to be done and thinking to myself...”It’s okay...I have ten weeks to complete each map.”  Well, holy cow!  They should have a warning label on the internship...and hand out helmets...and recommend wearing a seatbelt!  After days and nights of reading, analysing, rereading, reanalysing, summarizing, synthesizing, counting, recounting, calculating, tabulating, concluding, drawing, and writing....the internship project is, for the most part, finished.

In the picture, you will see that most of the items on the “lists” have a red star...a red star meaning that they are complete J  There are other items that are limited to their silver stars...because they are ongoing or because I just did not find the time to complete them over the past ten weeks.  The poor “Healthy Eating” is limited to its yellow star...I thought about it, and even tried some days to follow through...but I don’t think it merits any other star.  Hopefully, with the completion of the ten months that was Hurricane Capella (five courses, one Colloquium, and a twenty-week internship), I will be able to add a silver star to that particular item.  Here’s keeping my fingers crossed!

I have learned a lot over this internship, especially in regards to doing research effectively and ethically.  I look forward to taking these skills and knowledge into my Comps and my dissertation project.  The school board was very supportive and welcomed me and my research project.  They also underlined the importance of following through – where will this research go from here?  What impact can or could it have on supporting minority language education in their area?  (I think there just might be a dissertation in there somewhere!)

I should maybe (definitely!) apologize to any family and friends that I may have snipped (or growled - literally) at over the past six months.  There is no excuse – simple stress, that’s all.  Hopefully, the growling bear will be hibernating for the next little while.  I heard that growling bears like campfires, smores, and light beer....just sayin’.

Curriculum analysis – the vicious cycle...

In order to complete an analysis, I had to develop a process that could be adapted to each subject matter curriculum guide I was going to explore.  This graphic represents this practice.  During my exploration of the curriculum guides, I used colour coding (one colour for each Minority language pedagogy / identity construction) to track the representation of the five of six components of Minority language pedagogy / identity construction.

The elephant named Lit Review – one bite at a time.

My site supervisor suggested that I prepare a literature review as part of my internship.  In all honesty, the literature review was something that intimidated me so much that I was almost avoiding its existence in my life.  This is definitely not a healthy attitude for a budding researcher.  I had read many, and I was, more often than not, amazed at the researchers’ abilities to summarize many, many, many texts into a credible AND interesting academic text.  How in the world would I be able to do this?  Where do I start?  There is so much to read, and so much research to sift through.  When something overwhelming is presented before us in this house, my husband comes back to this joke...and pardon the animal reference (I love animals!)...

Husband:  How do you eat an elephant?

Me:  I don’t know.  How does one eat an elephant?

Husband:  One bite at a time.

So, in this spirit, my literature view was my elephant, and I just had to decide where I would take the first bite.  Capella University provides an excellent guide to composing a literature review, so I used it as a guide on my voyage (a blueprint to my elephant).  With this guide in hand, and many articles to read, I began the process....one bite at a time.

Now my literature review is complete – well, a 33 page first draft – and I am not even full....I still have lots of room. 

When jumping into the deep end, make sure you have stylish support!

 Track 2 Colloquium in Arlington, VA – could I have been any more excited?!?!?!  Course work prepped, bags packed and I was heading off on a jet plane (with the Chantal Kreviazuk song playing in my head!).  Sad to leave my boys, but excited to complete another milestone...and to see Washington, DC.

I can only compare Track 2 to jumping in the cold, deep end of the pool that is really big and that I have never swam in before.  I know how to swim – well enough to keep myself going for awhile – but I am not an endurance swimmer.  And, I don’t like cold water, but I know that once I get in the pool, I will get over it.  I felt much the same upon arriving at the Track 2 Colloquium – I had some research skills, but not to keep me afloat in an authentic, solo research study.  I was a little scared and intimidated – and like cold water – I don’t like those emotions.  But, if I wanted to finish Track 2 and gain the skills I need to finish this journey, I had to jump in with both feet using what skills I had to keep afloat.

However, I was not limited to using my skills to learn (or to swim...keeping with the metaphor).  I did have some fabulous life jackets – my tablemates in School of Education – Track 2 – helping me stay afloat!  And what fabulously stylish life jackets you were!!  When one of us needed clarification, another came to the rescue with an example, explanation, or a question for the profs.  And, when we needed to laugh to break the tension, we did!  What a positive learning experience.  I felt like we were all helping one another stay afloat – learning together, and not leaving anyone behind. 

Thank you ladies for making my Track 2 Colloquium a memorable experience, and for being the best gang of “problem” kids I know...haha!

Change....I'm learning to let it be for awhile.... 

« The only person who is educated is the one who has learned how to learn – and change. »
-    Carl Rogers

This quote seemed appropriate for this doctoral journey.
 

If there is one thing I have done over the past eighteen months, I have learned.  And, I have learned more about how I learn.  Learning strategies that are useful and appropriate for me are part of my doctoral toolbox.
 

Change, on the other hand, is moving at such a rapid rate that I can barely get a handle on one new event before another one arrives.  Some events are happening so quickly that I am simply sorting them into piles hoping to address them sooner than later.  I am afraid that I am going to turn around one of these days, and my “inbox” of changes will be overflowing, and I will have to sift through them.  I am not so much learning how to change as opposed to learning how to recognize and acknowledge change and how to classify it in one of the “files” of my life. 
 

If I had a loonie for every change that I have made in the past eighteen months, I would be well on my way to paying my next semester’s courses.  However, these loonies would be in neat, separate piles according to the part of my life in which the change took place.
 

Is this how I am learning how to change?  Instead of analyzing change, I am letting it happen, I'm letting it be.  As opposed to overanalyzing the options and scrutinizing the details, I am looking at the change, acknowledging its presence, and moving on.  Is this what this Type A person needed to go through to be more comfortable with change?  I think so.  I have to let it be.

Thanks John, Paul, Ringo, & George.

Mommy's Sticker Calendar

The second half of my internship – ED 8551 – is beginning, and with it there are also professional and personal responsibilities and events that are part of my schedule.  So, as to better organize myself, I created another concept map.  This map lets me have a global, more complete vision of what will be taking place over the next ten weeks.  Some of these activities and events are ongoing such as gardening, birthday parties, swimming lessons, and renovations.  Other activities are linked to completing my Capella internship, Track 2 Colloquium, and Spring course.

One of my colleagues took a look at my concept map – she is a concept map fan like me – and she asked over how many years was this plan taking place.  Laughingly, I answered, “Over the next ten weeks.”  She was a bit taken back, but I explained that it is the specificity of my map that makes it a bit overwhelming.    She also asked me how I was tracking my activities; more specifically she asked me what was doing with this “declarative knowledge”.   She suggested that I use a sticker system....now, where did I hear that before?

So, I went home and taped my concept map up on the wall by my desk.  I asked my son if I could borrow some of his stickers for my concept map.  Being the generous little fellow he can be, he passed them over, and I started developing my tracking system.  All activities that have to be done have a gold star, and all activities that has began have a silver star.  Once an activity is completed, I place a big, I’M done, red sticker.  I never thought putting stickers on my concept map would be so fun; now I understand why my son enjoys it so much with his calendar and goals!  I think that we might do our stars together.

Halfway up the Mountain

Let me bring back my To-Do list / Concept Map from the beginning of the internship...

Halfway through the Capella Internship….finishing up ED 8550 and moving on to ED 8551 in three weeks.  Wow!!  A little three week break from doctoral courses would be nice….but a little break it will be.  I will explain in a few minutes.
 


If I return to my To-do list/concept map from the beginning of ED 8550, I can review what I have accomplished, what I am still working on, and what did not get done….and how I feel about it….
 
In terms of the Internship…

•    I have completed all the requirements for ED 8550 except leading a meeting…but that’s okay…it will be done in ED 8551.
•    I have established a productive and pleasant professional relationship with my site supervisor, course supervisor, and the individuals with whom I work with at the school board office.  It has been nice to be back!
•    I have added LOTS of artifacts and documents to my eportfolio, and more importantly, it is actually organized and follows some sort of logic!  WOOHOO!!
•    I have had some enlightening, eye-opening discussions with my coursemates (as usual!!).  It was great to be “in class” with some familiar “faces” again like Maureen and Rachele who always provide thoughtful feedback.
•    I am really enthused about how much I have worked on my writing skills through this blog, the discussion questions, the portfolio documents and my literature review.
•    Several items on the To-Do list / concept map are on-going, especially the internship project with its literature review and bibliography.  While the next three weeks are often considered a “break” between semesters, I am aiming to finish the literature review so that I can focus on the curriculum document analysis when ED 8551 starts after Easter.
 
On the professional front….
 
Wow!  What a semester! I am glad that I am teaching three courses instead of four this semester.  I am not sure if I would have been still sane otherwise!  With three weeks remaining in courses, I feel comfortable in stating…
•    I have been successful in making Moodle my friend and using it more often and more efficiently in my courses.  I began using the forum option last semester, and it has become an invaluable resource for classroom management and for document sharing. 
•    PEDA 3133 and 3143 – Wow!  What a great semester!  The students’ presentations and seminars were well organized, full of information and student interaction.  Bravo!
•    One of my articles is coming along.  It ties in with my internship project – it is my literature review!!  I MUST FINISH THIS DOCUMENT!  My other article will explore the internship experience.
•    Études dirigées – This was a new course, and, initially, I felt a bit intimidated.  However, it has been rolling along quite smoothly.  My student and I have been using Moodle and Skype to their full advantage.  It was a learning curve for both of us, but I think that we have met the challenge.
•    It has been a challenge to keep up with corrections and keep on top of course preparation, but I recognized and accepted this at the beginning of the doctorate.  At the beginning of the semester, I told my students what I was up to and that I would not be on campus twice a week.  They have been quite understanding, and I look forward to reading their course evaluations to verify my reflections.
•    I got to go visit my students at the Halifax campus.  I haven’t visited the other campuses in two years because of our work schedules.  It was great to finally get together and have some academic and social chats with my students.

At home – a mommy, wife, daughter, friend….and, myself

When I first looked back at the To-Do list / concept map to write this blog, I thought – “Holy c%$#! A lot of stuff can happen and can get done in ten weeks!”  There are some items that have dragged along (like my articles….), but there are others that have came and went at lightning speed!

•    Noah finished another level at swimming lessons and has finished his first year of hockey!  He went from not wanting to go underwater and not skating to jumping off the side of the pool and skating circles around me….all in ten weeks!!
•    My Dad’s 60th came and went (and with another weekend snowstorm, I celebrated with him via Skype).
•    Gilles finished school, wrote his IP/Red Seal exam, and moved home.  I am beyond proud of all the hard work he has put in over the past four years.  A successful finishing school/passing exam/moving home birthday party was organized and everybody had a blast!
•    There has been some bad news in terms of family and friends who have been stricken with cancer…..it is such an unjust illness…more motivation to participate in the Relay for Life.
•    I have been able to make “Chill Out Time” a part of my life….I actually started and finished a non-academic book during the past ten weeks.  We have gotten to go out on little hikes and go skating every weekend. 
•    My “Healthy Eating” started out well….we cooked over three weekends and froze food to the point that we couldn’t put anymore in the freezer.  However, with the busy schedule of school and internship….and the unwanted arrival of a stomach flu…the healthy eating cooked into survival mode.  The frozen food and giving up treats for Lent did help though!
•    Active living – now, that has been a bit of a disappointment :( I have went running maybe twice over the ten weeks of the internship.  I did go walking a bit….on weekends or during the nice days at the CSAP offices.  This will definitely have to become a priority over the ten weeks of ED 8551, especially if I want to do the 5K at the Bluenoser Marathon in May.

….now, over the next three weeks, I guess I will have to make a new To-Do list / concept map….